I wasn’t sure if I should write this blog or not, but it’s been on my mind with a lot of other things lately. I went to a young adults function a few weeks back and the young ladies got to bombard three Godly married men with questions regarding men and the way they think and act. Some of the questions were a little out there, at least I thought so. Some of them did interest me though. One of those questions that interested me was: “How long does it take for a man to look past outer beauty before realizing the inner beauty of a young lady?”
I’ve always known men are visual beings, I learnt that growing up with two older brothers. It is hard however, when you sit watching and listening to a guy and a girl debate about what ‘interests’ a man for him to want to talk to a girl in regards to perhaps pursuing “the one”. The guy debating said something along the line that he will only speak to a girl if she’s good looking. That’s kinda harsh. But the bit that really annoyed me was when he said that you always see the good looking girls working hard at gym and looking after their body.
I almost spoke up at this point in the debate, but decided against it….why I didn’t, I don’t know because it’s been bugging me ever since. I go to gym. I play squash. I play soccer Sunday….so the fact that a few years ago I had a medical condition that made me gain weight even while, at that point, being physically fit playing cricket and softball for a club means nothing? The fact that I’m probably a lot fitter than I look and definitely a lot fitter than some of my female friends means nothing?
Perhaps the good thing, for me, is that over time I’ve slowly accepted the fact that there is nothing I can do about it and that this is what has happened and God made it happen for a reason. But any other young lady “waiting” for the right guy who may have a similar problem to me and is still working through it (and it takes a lot of time), hearing something like that can be heartbreaking.
Thankfully scripture tells us that outer beauty is not important to God. It’s the inner beauty He looks at… …thank goodness for that!
1 Peter 3:3-4:
“Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.”
I suppose the good thing for me is that I don’t like generalization, because I hate it when guys generalize that all girls like shopping for example. I don’t. I’m nothing like most girls, so I will not generalize that all men will only talk to a girl because she’s good looking and thus there are men out there who look for something other than good looks. In the meantime I will continue to have faith that my God will bring along side me my own Godly man who will love my inner and outer beauty the way God made me to be.
