Changing Thoughts

Clearly I'm in a writing/venting mode.  I've been wrestling with a few things lately...here are just four of them for now.... 

One: Friends who say they are fine when clearly they are not and putting a fake face to get by.

Two: The fact that I also noticed that sometimes I put on a fake face to get by.

Three: The fact that I sometimes feel like I need to please/impress people.

Four: The fact that I put the views of how people see me over God.

So on that note, I wrote this:

Changing Thoughts.
by Jacky Robus

I’m standing there in the middle of nowhere,
Watching the world pass me by,
As people walk at various paces.

I watch some of them interact with others,
Some talking, some joking, while some are crying,
And even some hiding behind their masks.

I laugh, but not at them, at me.
I look down to the mask in my own hand.
Do I really think I can hide who I really am?

I lift up my head as it begins to rain,
The sky is nothing but clouds of grey,
As the rain falls, so tears begin to fall.

Is it really that bad that we have to fake how we feel?
Is it really that bad that we have to fake who we are?
Why do we try to hide it when God see’s it all?

I watch as people run for cover from the rain,
Soon they’re all just staring at me,
As I’m just standing there in the pouring rain.

I lift up my head again, letting the rain fall on my face,
As I realize again that God loves me despite everything.
I can hide nothing from Him – my one saving grace.

I take a step forward; it’s the only way I can go.
What’s behind is behind and it can not be change.
I need to decide now on how to move ahead.

I slowly begin to move forward one step at a time,
I want to drop the mask, I don’t want it anymore.
I want to be me, the me God made me to be.

I keep walking in the rain away from the cover,
I keep walking in the rain away from the judging crowd.
It matters no more, I’ve realized I can't impress everyone.

Does it matter what people think of me?
Sometimes it does, but really it shouldn’t matter.
I should only focus on what God thinks of me.

One has to look up to see the silver lining on a cloudy day,
One has to look up to seek God for His help daily.
One should be only have to be who God made them to be.